By the Vault of My Body

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law

Tonight, before this writing, I had to turn off access to media containing current events and all the loud competing voices waiting to complain about those events. People are setting up camp and living in their anger or sorrow, 24 hours a day. There is a plethora of pain and judgment all around us, washing up on our consciousness, sure as the tides, dragging us in if we allow it.

 It’s a fight to keep myself free. It’s so easy to pitch my tent with the others in that garden of weeds if I am not careful. Upon these reflections, I recalled that there is a passage from the Book of the Law that I feel speaks advice to this situation if we will heed it. In Chapter One, we read in the voice of Nuit:

Liber AL Vel Legis  Chapter III; 32.

"....follow out the ordeals of my knowledge! seek me only! Then the joys of my love will redeem ye from all pain. This is so: I swear it by the vault of my body; by my sacred heart and tongue; by all I can give, by all I desire of ye all."

We may claim the love and joy of the ALL that which is Nuit, thereby giving us some solace; but it’s an effort. We’ll have to intentionally do this by taking periodic stock of our place within the totality of Her. That includes accepting that the totality of Her also encompasses people and things that we may despise.

It is a bitter pill. Maybe that’s partly why it’s called the “ordeal” of her knowledge.  

I don’t believe that “seek me only” means that we can or should relinquish our hold on our values, drift away into the indigo bowl of bliss and let the world burn.  It does not mean that we must be passive when we see life, light, love, and liberty under assault around us.

With that said, there is no way to embody the freedom available to us all if our own flame is sputtering out from exhaustion and we managed to slip into chains of despair ourselves. We can’t fling open the prison doors for others if we’re locked in there with everyone else.

I contend that the only way to navigate this life is to grasp at every joy this incarnation can offer to us. That’s how we knock the chains off, if even for a while.

Seek Her only. Chase Her most holy kiss.

I imagine everyone goes about that “seeking” in a different way. Perhaps we can find Her embrace in the space between our heartbeats, in the pause between each breath, in the quietness of meditation, or while immersed in a loud thrumming sea of people dancing. There’s also the enjoyment of art, the sciences, immersion in nature, exercising our bodies and minds, or the intoxication of a lover’s embrace.

It doesn’t have to be poetic or impress anyone. Your way of seeking Her joy does not have to look good on Instagram. Sometimes I really just want a good night’s sleep and that’s plenty enough bliss for that day. Maybe it’s running through the woods, my skirts and hair tangled through with briars and mud. It isn’t all glamourous, but it is ALL Her.

 It is an act of valor to pursue experiences of ecstasy even when it feels like the suffering of the world is grinding our bones to dust. Especially then! It is a most sacred mission. The stakes are high.

Love is the law, love under will.

Soror Jessica